The Girlfriend Code. Is It Ever Okay To Date Your Friends Ex????

[kim]

I was watching the morning news today and they had Marilu Henner from the Celebrity Apprentice reality show and were discussing how she met her current husband. An interestingly enough he was her BF boyfriend in college and the one she took her friend to get the birth control pills for!

Anyway, Years had past by and she ran into him. She had gotten married and he was on his first divorce ( by the way not by her friend ). Some years had past by and she ran into him once again. This time she was divorced and had kids. They started talking and a year later are happily married.

Now the question is was she wrong to date and marry her friends' ex.

Now we all know that within the girlfriend circle there are many things that are shared ( I said many not all ) between girls, and NO I don't need to go there, 'cause you already know!

But my cousin and I had some different opinons on it and this particular situation. My opinion is who cares! It is 23 yrs later! But I Thought....Hmmm??/
Would it be uncomfortable when there are get togethers?
Would I be thinking she was trying to get at my man all that time? I don't know.

It can get complicated. But I really think first don't ever date your friends ex anything, If you are really friends.

Or why not talk about it with your friend and find out how she feels about it and why/why not. Other point and is he worth possibly losing a friendship over?
Lots of details.

What do you think??

By the way my cousin strongly favors HELL NO! and when she said Hmmm what about my mr. crews Then I said sorry but I'll have to cut ya! LOL So I guess that is a Hell NO too!

[ShiningStar]

I would have to say that he would be off limits. Then again it depends on what type of friend you're talking about. If he's and ex of one of my HOMEGIRLS, HELL NO! If he's an ex to an acquaintance, someone I knew from high school or just in passing, then it's doable.

[Nappykat]

I say if you ain't together no more, then all is game. And I do mean ALL (can your sis/bro/aunt/uncle/daddy/momma date or marry a person you once dated? I say sure. But beware, those are the most complicated sitations, especially if children are involved.).

But if ain't nobody related or relative, then it's all good.

[Josalund]

nop! I could not do it!
it would be highly complicated for me, even if it's 23 years later. i had, or started to have a relationship with this person and that would bring up old emotions, to many thoughts for me. i mean the, what if's??? would really get to me.
i've been in this position twice in my life time, and twice i couldn't do it. it's kinda nasty to me. friendship is more important to me.

just my opinion...
jos

[Mahogany Momma]

Thank you for sharing! Continue sharing on the BMC...
lhenry

[LindsMom]

My first reaction is not to go there with a past boyfriend of my girl. But, if a significant amount of time has passed, like in your case, I don't see a problem with it.

[Shelley]

It is NEVER ok for my friends to date my friends ex! Even if i says it's ok. But again I guess the level of friendship is at question. If we are girlfriends and she has socialized with us then Hell no! If we are friend of friend type relationship, I guess it isn't personal. Just remember what goes around comes around.

[Shannon]

Never!

[Shawandra Ford]

Ohhh....not unless you don't plan on being friends with your friend anymore!

[LindsMom]

You make a good point. Usually if something like this happens, that person was never a friend to begin with.

[Lisa]

It's a HELL NAW for me!!! That's a line that should never be crossed! Of all the men in the world, your friends Ex should not be an option.

[Sistah42]

I'm wit cha on that one Lisa, that's just plain unnegotiable? I think in general people who you care about and love tend to be the first to betray, don't know why that is but it seems to be alot more common or shall I say out in the open in this generation? Im just sayin, that's not cool

[Linda Royal-Herman]

I'll have to say NO. I don't think this is a good idea. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I'd always compare our relationship to the one he had with my friend.

Maybe I'm just crazy, LOL!

Linda
Author of Consequences