Discipline

[Kenya]

I have a one year old and I'm not sure how to discipline her. Can I get some suggestions?

[ADDMWS]

Kenya,

What does she do that warrants discipline at 1? DO NOT SPANK! DO NOT SPANK! You have to redirect her attention to other things. Yelling does not work either. Please give some examples also...if she has an other sibling that she mimicks, that is different too.

[Kenya]

My dd is one year old girl but she can be a bit much. I wanted suggestions other thatn spanking. She loves to hit. I know she playing but I don't want her hitting. she also talks back she get in my face say her babble and walks away. She screams and holla and falls out. What I have been doing when she become much is place her on the couch until she calms down.

[1stopmom]

You know what I agree with lilmamadickens. i forgot that ever since my children were born my home has been "kid friendly" I never had anything within my kids' reach that could hurt them or get broken. So pretty much there was not one inch of space they could not go. I have gotten really good at making that "momma" face :)

[Nappydays]

I believe it depends on what she did, some children can understand right from wrong at the age of one. I would first try timeouts to see how she responds to that, its important to talk to the her, and let her know why she is being punished at eye level. Don't give up because its important to make her take the time out, and ask her to apologize when its over and you have talked to her. But whatever you do Be Consistent!

[GGJ]

Hi Kenya,

I don't know that you can discipline a one year old. I think that the tone in your voice would be enough to persuade or dissuade as the case may be. I am not a proponent of hitting children that young, as I don't believe that it makes any impact. Tell me, what is your one year old doing that needs discipline?

[Shmika]

Timeouts worked best for the that 1 or 2 minutes of sitting still was like torture to my son he would cry I had a littl seat that he sat on and if he got up I would sit ham back down and talk to him then I would sit on the couch and just look at him I think that hurt him more that any spanking or popping of the hands.

I Agree age 1 is way too young and kids pick up on that my neice is 1 and my son is 4 we wnet to visit her for the t-giving holiday and well my son was jumping up and down the steps I had told him a couple of times to stop playing on the step so I popped him on is behind and told him to sit down, about 30 mins later while they were upstairs playing I watched my neice pop my son on his butt and point her finger at him and tell him no no in her onw little way. You never know what kids will pick up on so you have to becareful about every thing you do cause they watch even when you think they are not looking.

[1stopmom]

If she does something wrong, tell her no. Do not laugh no matter how funny. (that was the hardest for me)If she is trying to get into something she should be in, tell her know and redirect her attention. Like if she is trying to rip up books or touch your knick knacks, distract her with a fun toy or trying to make her laugh. What it all comes down it chose a discipline method that you are comfortable with.

good luck :)

[Aiesha Turman]

For a one year old, all you can really do is remove her from the situation and say "No" very firmly. They are not really doing anything bad or wrong -- they are just exploring this new place. If my daughter was doing something, like trying to get into my cd collection, I would just scoop her up, move her to another location and give her something just as interesting to play with. She'd forget all about the cd in a second. The last thing you should do is hit, spank or pop her -- it serves no purpose. I hope this helps.

[Sharlene]

Hello Kenya,

this is a good question and one that many will have their own opinions on so it is up to you to decide which suggestions you would like to implement in your own home depending on the nature, personality and understanding of our child at that age.

First off what is it exactly that your one year old is doing that leads you to believe that her action warrants "Discipline"?

After you have answered this question then I can make a better assessment and provide a suggestion based on the actions or behavior being displayed.

Lilmamadickens suggestions below were good ones though and I would also encourage coming down to eye level with your little one when speaking to them so that you are not towering over them and keep a level but firm tone when speaking.

Have a blessed week!

[Look For Me!]

When my son was about 1, he responded very well to the time out chair. The fact that hispreschool teacher used the same method and I reinforced it at home avoided discipline confusion. We discussed what she does in school and I tried it at home... it worked. If your 1 year old is in preschool, I suggest you ask his/her teacher what methods they use. I am strongly against spanking for children that young. It teaches them to hit. Also talk to your child. They understand way more than we think they do. I talk to my son as if he were my age. No gu-gu gah-gah stuff. His comprehension is very good because of it. I have talked to him like that since he was a new born. People would look at me as if I was crazy. But now when I explain to him things I expect of him,,,he listens and understands. Communication is key. Do not discipline when you are angry. You are just showing your child that you lack self control and that its okay. Calm down and speak with your immediately after the situation happens. A 1 year olds attention span can't wait for you to think about it for an hour. 2 minutes tops.

[kim]

I think this is a great topic. I also think you don't spank babies (1yr!). I do have mixed feelings on the issue of spanking.

I think it is a personalized situation. Just like all shoes don't fit the same person, neither is discipline for all children. I believe based on your child's personality that there are lots of ways to teach discipline.

I was spanked as a child and I personally now or then didn't feel abused. Was I beat with extension cords, hangers, Heck NO...but I did grow up in a different time where to spank was a method of discipline. I wasn't a baby but like 7yrs old Did I enjoy them? Of course not. What kid enjoys any kind of discipline.

But I do realize now how spanking a child can teach kids negative ways to communicate or handle anger issues. So I do agree that it is something that as a parent you have to educate and learn different methods of discipling your child.
However I was raised in a time when my mother or parents did not play with kids. In that you didn't sit in "grown folks faces", and you knew your place as a child. My mother also used the "LOOK" which spoke all kinds of words without talking. That I knew to straighten up my act quick.

I have a lot of love and respect the way I was brought up and my experience has been very loving, positive inspite of the "rod". I am a respectable,loving,compassionate person and so is my mom. I believe that some of the old ways are the reason why children had so much respect for their parents and others, unlike some children these days.

Sometimes it gets really hectic raising your kids and after repeats of time out and other things I think a swift pat on the but or hand can be effective or just the mention of you'll get a spanking can change the behavior.

However, my first thought is to always give a warning then time out and if your really out of control maybe a spanking. I also do the look and use the speaking thru the teeth when in public, which usually works.

Overall- I think however you decide to discipline your child should always be done with love. Explain to your child the consequences of their behavior and use a loving hand.

[Georgetta Rena Scott]

What are you crazy thinking that children especially black children do not need to be spanked? I believe that each child should be discipline according to how a child handles it. Because you have some children that you can not talk to or give time out. Some kids need a good old fashion whooping. Think about it a lot of Parent who have children 30+ years spanked there children and look we are not acting a fool nearly as bad as these children.. I have a example I have Twin Boys ages 6 one of the boys I can just place on punishment, and that will effect him but the other one he like to clown act out I have done all the counseling, time outs, taking away his toys, and the only time he listens and we do not have that problem again is when I spank him now do not get me wrong yes it is wrong to beat your child or spank your child with extension cord, telephone cords, shoes or even with your fist. But a belt to the butt will work wonders