Backed Into A Corner

[Latrice Fowler]

Hello,

There's nothing like family when you need a helping hand, right? Someone there to catch you when you fall flat on your "you know where" and with 3 kids to boot. Needless to say we've been put in a position to where we needed a little help and our family reached out to us because otherwise we'd be completely homeless right now.

I ultimately had reservations when my husband approached me with the idea of moving in with his father. Not only was I concerned with bullets ricocheting off the metal fence shattering windows and maybe even penetrating one of us in the process due to the type of neighborhood he resides in. But there's a certain type of vocabulary, words of expression my kids will be subjected to that I'm having the darndest time figuring out how to deal with let along set them down and educating them as to why this is.

Namely the n-word. This word is used so much, which I've tried to explain that it's just something that he's grown up with and has coined himself as such, as well as their uncle who makes it very known that he's a dope dealer/gangsta and basically s*** happens. The uncle was over to the house visiting for the afternoon yesterday which turned into a late night/early morning get-together because they didn't decide to leave until well after 2AM. My son told me he referred to him as a n***** and I'm sure he was shocked to say the least.

What do I tell them? My kids? Do I have any say, being that I'm in this house, for who knows how long? I will admit I'm scared of the uncle and with good reason. The father-in-law as well because they're both a little crazy. They do have they're good moments and ultimately loves the kids I'm sure, but...

Since we've been here, I've been comfortable, trying to adapt and come out of my shell and try and relax. A few days ago, however, I think the kids and I (the older two) had a revelation when we heard 5 gun-shots right outside the window...it could have been a few blocks away, but nonetheless, we did hear them. I'm trying to be optimistic here. My husband tells me that you can get shot in any neighborhood, which is completely true, but...

ADVICE, PLEASE!
Signed - Not A Miss Goody Two-shoes, Just a Concerned Mother of 3!

[Life Coach Richetta]

Do what you got to do to survive and then make a plan. Sit down with your husband first and get to some common ground so that you two can make a plan to be in a different envirnoment. You can plan for 3 months, 6 months, a year whatever it is make a plan.to be somewhere else. We are the ones in control of what we allow our children to endure, however sometimes we have to do what wwe have to do in order to survive. This too shall passt sister. I know how you fel 3 months ago a boy was shot one house away from me in front of the park that I see when I look out my back door. I grew up in his neighborhood and I nevr thought coming back here would have been such a mistake. My plan is to be ghone at the end of my lease in July. Till then I'm aware and alert at all times. I wish you and your family the best!

[Latrice Fowler]

Thanks so much for sharing this with me. We have a plan and I'm being very alert and aware of things. Thanks again! Many blessings!

[Tyra B.]

Oh my goodness! I will pray that you and your family will be able to leave that neighborhood as soon as possible! And you didn't have to sign your note "Not a Missy Good Two-Shoes.." There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be in the type of environment you describe. In any case, use this as a learning experience for your children and just simply talk to them about the things you are experiencing. My mother would do that for us when we found ourselves in less than ideal situations involving family. Take care!

[Latrice Fowler]

Thank you and you take care as well!

[ahsharah allen]

Hey sistah.whew u dealing with it . listen i use to live in a neighborhood like that and so did alot of my family. true you can get shot in any neighborhood, just like you can experience rascism anywhere. however we are smart enough not to go to a klans member house and make ourselves more vulnerable to it. you know why we moved out the neighborhood we use to live in? my father in law was stabbed 7 times walking down the street in broad day light, my little brother bought him a syringe and the straw that broke the camels back was gun shots flew while i was taking my kids and groceries out the car. i had to slam my children's faces down on the pavement. my children were constanty on edge. i figure they would get use to it,after all i did. Then i thought about how uptight i was as a child . why would i want that for my children. so many adults adapt to a situation and forget about the environment and expect the kids to do the same. we want better for them. since we've moved i haven't heard one gunshot, and never have to move my stuff in the middle of the night for fear someone is going to rob me.you know what has happened since i moved? my cousins wife was shot while carrying her 2 year old into the house. stray bullets have no names on them. I know you are backed into a corner. however how you feel should be validated. its your god given right to protect your offspring.Just like the rest of the animal kingdom. you may be able to get shot anywhere, however statistics in a better neighborhood is far less. keep your head up and i will pray for you

[Latrice Fowler]

Thanks so much, and especially thank you for your prayers. Things are going ok and this is just a temporary situation. Thanks again!

[Margaret Rogers]

I don't have an answer for you as we were blessed never to have to live in conditions like that. I will say a prayer that you and your family can move to safer dwellings soon!

[Latrice Fowler]

Thanks so much for your prayers! Many blessings!

[Lucid Theory]

www.socialserve.com

Helped me. Might help you.

[Latrice Fowler]

Thank you so much! Happy New Year!