Divorce in America in 2009 – What’s love got to do, got to do with it?

[Brother Marcus!]

Why is there so much divorce in America? Why is there so much divorce in the black community? Why is there so much divorce in our churches? Who is to blame? What is to blame? Are you divorced? Why? Did you want a divorce? How did it affect you? How did it affect your children? What do you believe is the real reason behind the divorce increase in America? Please leave your comment below!

We are going to discuss this issue, this weekend on my show on Sunday February 1, 2009 @ 8:00 p.m. for another hot topic in our community! “Divorce in America in 2009 – What’s love got to do, got to do with it?” Did you know that in America, approximately 50% of all marriages end in divorce and that although 82% of all married couples will reach their fifth wedding anniversary, only 52% will celebrate 15 years of marriage? Is your relationship headed for divorce court? Does God want us to get divorced? What are the warning signs that your stuff is in trouble? Um Huh! How does divorce really affect our children, our families and our communities? Why can’t we make it last forever, anymore? Are Tina Turner and Shirley Murdock really to blame for breaking us up? Will President Barack Obama and Michelle Obama turn this thing around? Our National call in number for the show this Sunday will be [phone]. Feel free to forward this to as many friends as possible! Please go to: www.blogtalkradio.com/brothermarcusshow to log into our chat room during the show.

[Lolita]

Wow!!! i could talk about this topic for hours being that i experienced it. I had hope for my marriage because i thought i married my dad. my mother and father will be married for 55 years this year. i was married for 25 and with him 5 years before that. i was devistated!!! i will save the rest for your show. i hope to call and join in.

[Brother Marcus!]

Thanks Lolita. I truly look forward to hearing your story!

[LaKeisha Baker - Hankins]

I will try to call in this will be a good discussion. I think nowadays marriage is so much different that couples or so quick to get a divorce and not work out their problems if their marriage can be saved.

[Brother Marcus!]

I agree wholeheartedly! Many couples don't even show enough restraint for six months nowadays before they are calling it quits! I can't wait to have you on the show!

[LaKeisha Baker - Hankins]

Is the call EST time zone? I need to set a reminder now.

Thanks

[Brother Marcus!]

Yes the call is 8:00 p.m. E.S.T. Sorry about that!

[Trula]

My husband and I married in 1999 after being together since 1996 and living together since 1997. We also had a child together in 1997. So we thought we had marriage all figured out, had tested the waters and everything. Ha! We almost divorced in 2002 with our know-it-all-selves. Thank god we worked it through, and this year we celebrate our 10th anniversary!

What tripped us up back in 2002 was immaturity on both our parts combined with a lack of understanding our respective roles and responsibilities in our marriage. and we both just had a general casual disregard for making our marriage a priority. Not anymore! I will say upfront we are not christians but I am still a child of god and he has spoken to my heart about how to be a good wife. I would suggest to any woman struggling in her marriage, especially a woman who considers herself to be 'strong' or a 'feminist' to read proverbs 31. If you live in your marriage in that way, make your husband, family, and household a priority, you will be blessed. Humble yourself! and ask god to help you.

[Nappykat]

Marriage is a great institution. I just got tired of being institutionalized. It was driving me crazy.
**cynic face**wink**wink**

I been in a 19 year relationship and was married for 13 years. I am looking forward to divorcing this year. I am not sad or bitter or about getting divorce or getting married. I think of both as just another piece of experience on the journey that is life. I am grateful for the experience. Like love, I do believe it is better to have married than to have never married at all. Unmarried (black) women who long for marriage and a marriage partner are a sad and whiny sight for sore ears and eyes.

I think marriage is both overrated and underrated.

It's overrated because marriage is treated as a cure-all for what ails the family and the black family in particular and that is simply not true. Marriage does not cure infidelity, depression, deadbeat/absent/obscure/abusive fathers, and it doesn't cure or even prevent you from diseases and unwanted pregnancies. Marriage alone does not provide you with security (financial or emotional), and it is not a cure for insecurity or lack of esteem. Marriage is not anger management nor does it help in any of that aspect. In fact what it has done is put two miserable, unstable, insecure, people together where there should have only been one (misery loves to be married and have company I guess). Those looking for mates to 'complete' them will not find their 'whole' in a marriage if they are not already whole. Touting marriage for the community's ill's is tantamount to saying that a baby will cure your desire to be loved. It's true on some level but it doesn't get to the deeper issue - why do you feel unloved in the first place? Where did it start? How can we help you now and only you so that you don't bring another person in your life that my extend or broaden your misery? And so the same questions should be said, asked, and answered with marriage; before anyone should get married.

Marriage is underrated because...um...well.... I'll have to get back to you on that.

I may be the only person in the world who sees some positives with the current (and rising) divorce rate. This is no longer the olden days of shotgun (forced) weddings and people having to stay married to save face in front of family, community, and church when you know marriage is causing you more pain than joy. When you always feel down and hardly ever up.

I said that if I ever got married again, the part where they say 'till death do you part' will be changed to something like 'to be reviewed and (possibly) renewed on the 10th year.' I figure 10 years (or however many years a couple designates) is a good start or beginning of an ending to any relationship.

Besides, technically what more is marriage but a (suppose to be) lifelong legal contract? A lifelong legal contract that more than half of the people can't even complete properly, if at all.