Black Moms Club

Welcome Black Moms, African American Parents, Mothers of Color, Single Moms,Dads

I wake up everyday knowing that 4 young men has a high expectancy of me. I cook, clean, motivate, referee, chauffeur, chaperon; I smile through it all but recently it seems as if there isn't ever enough time, money or energy. I love the Lord and knows that he gives us all that we stand in need of yet sometimes I wonder what am I doing wrong. In a crowd I feel alone: the women around me are recently pampered (nice nails, fresh hair do, etc) they don't know me nor my struggle, and the men could care less. Maybe it's the fact that I'm the only female in the house. I don't mean to complain but I just needed a release.

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Good morning Tanja!

Sounds like the only thing you are doing wrong is speaking about yourself with negativity. Our thoughts create the world we live in, don't focus on what you don't have, focus on what you do have. You have 4 young men that love you unconditionally. You've been entrusted, by God, to care for and guide them until they can do it for themselves. That is the most important and powerful job in the world...being a mother. And it sounds like you are handling that just fine. And it's okay to vent, it's good for the soul.

Good Luck & I'll be thinking about you,

Kim Godfrey

God bless you and thank you dearly for sharing your wisdom.  I cherish your words and will keep them close to my heart.  I've passed that test but I have encountered and will encounter many more that I'm sure your advice will encourage me.


Hello Tanja,

It's been a while since I have been on this sight, and this post caught my attention, because I understand.  I agree with what Kim said.  Stay encouraged.  Your life is just that...YOUR LIFE.  And allow the Lord to use it.  You may be looking around saying "why can't I have that and do this..." but someone, with 8 sons at home, may be looking at you saying..."WOW!!!"


And last but not least, make sure to take care of your self spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally.  Because when we get "weiry" it's just that much more of a struggle : )



Women Of Proverbs

A healty way of LIFE.



I needed that very much.  I'm grateful, thanks so much for sharing your wisdom and advice.  God bless.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. ~ Philippians 4:13

I pray in time this feels like less of a burden on your servants heart. I know from experience that it does not always feel this way, but there are times when it feels like too much when money and time are an issue. The add an extra burden that can make us more tired, but you can do this and anything through Christ that give you strength. Pray for what you want and pray for what you can do to do better. Please set aside a little time for you each day no matter what. They will have to learn to respect that time that you need.

Hugs & Blessings!

I love that you first gave me a scripture.  Nothing stands true like the word of God.  I'm grateful and will definitely keep your advice in my heart.  May the word of God strengthen you as you have spoken strength over me.  Much love and many blessings.

Hey Tanja,

I think all the ladies gave you great advice. This is part of life, and I know as women we sometimes feel overwhelmed and like at any minute you could just lose it, but no you are not alone, but it is important that you do take some time for yourself as well. However never compare yourself to others because you really don't know what can be going on behind the scenes, yes they could have nice hair and nails etc but maybe they are neglecting roles at home... It is important that you sit and take a minute to write down what balance looks like for you, schedule a day on your calendar for just you. Maybe you can go get your hair or nails done, or even do them yourself if you are on a budget. 

We all have the same 24 hours a day, but it is what you do with your time, priority and values. Enjoy your role as been as a mother and that you can be there for your kids to provide those things, believe me your are there hero, and they are depending on you.

Release and let it all out and at the end of the day take time to reflect on how grateful you are, turn your energy into positive energy, because you have the power to create your day and shake up the atmosphere.

Here is an article I did: What Brings You Joy

LaKeisha Hankins

One More Resource:Simple Relaxing Tips for Busy Moms.

Many Blessings

Thank you very much for the resources.  I really enjoyed your articles and I'm looking for more of your works.


Much love and many blessings.

There's no better feeling than to know that what ever you're going through, no matter the season of your life, no matter if you're in a valley or climbing a mountain, that you're not alone.  We find strength and comfront when we are encouraged, motivated, and many cases pushed to hang on, hold on, and press through.  I love you all, thanks for caring enough to give a word.  God spoke everything in existence.  We have that same power.  (Allthough I have to be reminded of that sometimes).


-Much love and many blessings to you all


Hi, how are you doing? I just finished reading your post and I realized that it was written back in July,but I just wanted to touch base and see how everything is going? I'll try to send you a message just so we can talk. I don't know much about you,but I what it takes to run a large household.  I'm a mother to 5 kids(2 boys and 3 girls) and running a household is work at any family size,but running a large household can become overwhelming at times.  I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you have a wonderful blessed day.


P.S. How old are your kids?


Shelly  :)

Blessings Tanja;

I just read your post, even though you posted it some time ago. I can relate... Not about the 4 who's depending on your but being in a crowd and feeling like the only one. I've come to realize, God had His hand on me.

I came from a background where my family shunned me, I was the outcast, being in a family of 5 other siblings, but yet feeling like the only one.

I was talked about, used, abused and cheated on...

When I turned my life to the Lord, then everything made sense...and my outlook on life had changed

I want to encourage you to continue to look to the Lord for all things. He sees your struggles and knows your pains.

When you give it to Him, He in turn will give you the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; Isaiah 61:3...

Know that you have a divine purpose and a great destiny.

Those who are depending on you are all they see. God will place people in your path to encourage you, uplift you, inspire you and help you out alone the way.

Please, whatever you do, don't give up hope or lose your trust in the Lord.

God always works on His timing, not ours. And when we align ourselves with the Word of God, then we will see the manifested power of God move in our lives to the glory of God.

Think about this, every morning God allows you to wake up, there are new mercies given to you…



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