i would like to discuss how to be a father to my son when i am a mother.

[scoker]

hell0o, i am a single parent to a 5 year old lit boy. When i told his dad that i was having a baby he told me to abort the fetus, of course i say no and for that,,, he left me with his son.  i have a nine year old daughter who loves to play with her lit brother but hes now doing girly stuff and very soft....how to tuffing him up and and show him that lit boys have there way to play while lit girls have there way to play...

[Shareta Parker]

Sister girl, sister girl:

my son is now 10 and i have struggled with this issue with a bit of a difference.  he was at the time my only child surrounded by women.  There is no way in my opinion that you could play the role of a  father to your son.  We can teach our boys how to be good people.  we can teach our boys how to treat women.  but there is no way Godly possible to teach him how to be a man or provide that father role.  it was not meant to be this way  and can never be  in MY OPINION, but we have to be creative in our alternatives to make sure our boys get the support that is necessary for them to be productive men within this society and not statistics.  what will be necessary is for him to positive, constructive male role models. They don't have to be scholars but men that you trust won't steer him wrong and be that ear and example that you can't be.  you know the saying Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.  i think it's true because we think and do things totally different and you at some point won't be able to understand where he is coming from but you will be able to guide him in the right direction.  be careful with the labels of "soft and girly" as well.  i try to to tell my son to play with this instead or do this instead of that but not in a demeaning manner so that there is curiousity as why not or to make him feel a certain way.  i call my son the lover and not the fighter because that is what it is.  he loves women and right now is so kind and attentive and i only pray that quality remains a part of him. but i have him around family, friend, coaches and soon clergymen (on all levels be careful and i stress you have to trust these men and know them too).  but make sure they know your expectations and their values or point of view meshes with your.  i could go on for days regarding this topic because i am still going through it and trust it gets more complex as they get older so figure out at least the outline to your game plan now and write it down, make it plane, and trust in God first and for most that all will be in accordance to his word.  HOPE THIS HELPS A LITTLE

[scoker]

yes.thank you. this did help a lot,,i jus really dont wont him to turn out another way because of me. i dont date,,so im not around a group of guys ...what can i do to help...you konw?,,,with how lit boys plays and act.

[Shareta Parker]

he is of age where he can start sport programs, you may want to consider joining a church, or even summer camps is a start.  just never give up and always think outside the box

[scoker]

we are already attending a church.. i am just trying to be a man to him and i cant because i am a women.

[Shareta Parker]

well blessings to you and keep your head high and your eyes on the prize and you can't fail.  pray on your movements. 

[TriniLopez]

First of all I wouldnt worry too much about it at this phase. As mentioned by another post you focus on teaching him to be a good
person and that's what really matters
He will be going to school soon and will play with lots of other boys who will help
Him find his inner boy :-)
I know soooo many boys who grew up surrounded by women with very fee if any decent male role models
And lots of them are strong respectable wonderful grown men now. I have also known lots o f little boys who did have a strong father figure 
And still went through a little girly phase at this age 
Sometimes I think we force the little boy little girl toys and behaviors too hard too early
And don't let them just discover themselves on their own
Clearly you are a strong loving mother and as he gets older it will become more complex
So keep your eyes open for mentors at church martial arts groups after school activities to put h contact with

[scoker]

Thankyou so much...i just try to be the best at mom and dad i can be..i dont want to over do it with so much of mommey because i am a women. this lit boy loves me to death...nickname...mommas boy. i blame myself as well because he s the baby and i do baby him up alot...so,,,shame on me with that part...i got to understand that  i have to let him grow up..foreal....is there any free infor that could help with single black mother

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[ann marie]

My son is 9 and I am a single parent also. When he was younger, I would stress about it because the cousins that were his age were all girls. Everytime someone in the family was expecting, I was praying for a boy. Now that he is in school, I don't worry as much.