Talent And Turmoil: Life In The Spotlight

[Kim Crouch]

As a child growing up, I remember, like most children, how badly I wanted to be a superstar. There were days I spent hours writing songs, singing, rehearsing lines from movies I had written and a whole host of other things to prepare me for fame. Although I ultimately took another path in life, I have thought a lot lately about my desire for fame as a youth particularly in light of the death of Michael Jackson. I truly believe that sometimes God’s rejection is his protection of you but I wonder who really ever protected this man.

The truth is it took me a moment to write this post because I had so many mixed emotions. Honestly, I’ve never been a huge Michael Jackson fan, or for that fact, music fan but even Michael Jackson's death struck a chord with me not because he was an iconic genius but because of the human frailty of his life and the recognition of him as a triumphant tragic figure.

Let's be honest. all of us have been touched by Michael Jackson in one way or another. He truly is the greatest celebrity of all times but he also highlights for me the tragedy of fame and fortune as well and the necessity of surrounding yourself with people vested in your life in a world or culture of vultures. Now, don't get me wrong, Michael did benefit from the celebrity life. After all, he made lots of money probably more than any of us could ever imagine. But he also experienced more pain than any of us could ever imagine. I bet if you could ask him whether the money was worth it, you may hear a resounding no because my sense is that underneath all of the sequenced gloves, jackets, and behind the moonwalk and the plastic surgeries lay a guy who only wanted what he never had: a childhood.

Many of us underestimate the blessings of a normal childhood. But, many of us as children, no matter how challenged our childhood, were able to do things most kids do: play freely with other kids, go to movies, etc. Michael Jackson, and many child stars, are never really able to do that. They live in a bubble and no one can imagine living that life forever.

What I feel most sad about with Michael Jackson’s death is that his life was one of talent and turmoil. Here's a man who devoted his life to entertain us and share his talent around the world. He brought us great music, interesting dances, bridged the black and white divide in the music industry, solidified the music video as a novel form of art and created fashion trends. Come on, admit it. How many of us had the Michael Jackson red jacket or the sequenced glove. Ok, I know most of us won’t admit it now but we did. It was cool. It was hot. It was the style. But for all this talent, there was turmoil. He lived in a bubble and has his personal life and demons displayed publicly for the entire world to see. When most of us leave our jobs, we can go home. He couldn’t and he spent his life around a group of yes men, people who used his fame and talent to obtain wealth and a litany of lawsuits because people saw him as a deep pocket: a way to amass quick riches.

In the end, Jackson was a triumphant tragic figure. I hope in death he finds what he never did in life: true peace and serenity.

Posted below is the video to Michael Jackson’s song Childhood. In an interview, he says it was the most honest song he ever wrote and it’s his attempt to get others to understand his intricacies and what many of us termed weird behavior. I encourage you to listen to it and if you ever think fame and fortune is worth the tradeoff this video may teach you differently.

[Nappykat]

Yeah, I'll take the fortune, you can keep the fame.
Is the tradeoff worth it to me? It's worth it to me for me for my situation.

I cain't talk for MJ, I understand he had some issues and they were great. And even I ain't sure if he would have traded his fame and fortune for to have.. whatever he was lacking (love? Esteem? Confidence? Self worth?)

[Nappykat]

Did anyone see the interview of Joe Jackson after the BET Awards Tribute? I don't have cable so I had to catch it on Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H27665VPRmQ

If Michael Jackson's life and inner turmoil was partially or mostly the result of Joe, then I have to wonder about Joe Jackson childhood. In a discussion about this, some have come Joe aide by saying that he was a 'typical black parent of the day' and that 'many children have gotten beat or had their butts whooped and turned out fine.' I hear sooo many times from black folks.

But do we really turn out well? Many children who are beat or corporally disciplined don’t get to MJ’s extreme, but that doesn’t necissarily say they are well or turned out fine.

Heck I’m fine by all outward appearances - and I suffered low self worth and esteem and tried to find it outside of myself through men, sex, and eating. Some try to find through drug and alcohol abuse. Some people are just hurting so bad inwardly that you may not see outwardly - or you classify what you see as ‘ok’ and ‘normal’ because we all have some sort of issues. I had one lady spill her abusive life story to me at the busstop - why? Because everyone close to her thought she was doing fine and she couldn’t share anything with anybody she knew for fear that they would think different of her, so she shared it with a complete stranger (me)to get some of the burden off her. Many people suffer guilt and shame in silence and it tears them up. Eventually it can catch up with you in psychological, emotional or physical illness.

Being a ‘typical black parent’ and beating your kids butt (what we term a ‘whoopin’) may be the ‘norm’ but that doesn’t make it right. And sure we turn out ‘fine’ but really - we don’t. There may be a lot you don’t see or choose to ignore. We perpectuate that abuse and that’s a darn shame. Hurt people continuing to hurt back.

Now I’m beginning to wonder about Joe Jackson’s childhood. Not only did his impoverishment breed greed it seems, but he may have also been pushed and punished in the same way he did his kids. And clearly his apparent disassociation from things like family speaks of some psychological illness - probably come from past childhood where he could never talk or express himself emotionally.

And Kat? - way too passive. That’s that old school crap of a woman ‘knowing her place’ and ‘not testing her man.’ I think that’s disfunctional to teach a girl or too anyone.