Black Moms Club

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'Well I got my butt beat and I turned out fine.'

How many of yall heard that? Ain't you tired of it?
Guess it's just me then.

Yeah, it seems funny and humorous. The joke of old school black mommas slapping across the face so face you felt the sting of it before you even saw it.

Or of going to pick out own switch from the tree with fear in your heart.

Or about mommas who use to walk around the store with belts around their neck to keep you in line.

Or the public whoopings that made you feel sad and ashamed.

This ain't about whether or not it's ok to spank your kids. This about why we continue to condone child abuse in the black community as something funny and worthile while we laugh at white folks for being overly indulgent doormat when it comes to their kids - like there is no in-between. And we think this is what produced respectful kids in our society back in the day (that and school prayer - a subject in and of itself) and say 'The power has been taken away from the parent to beat their dam kids!'

And the word 'submission' is thrown alot for marriages, I wonder how feel about trying to get our kids to submit to our will.

Old School Black mommas

There used to be a time when Black children were the best Behaved children in the world, now look at them, Time out my foot!!!

1. Have you ever been called downstairs from upstairs or The back of the house, or from the front of the house to Get the remote, change the channel, or bring her a glass of ice water?

2. Have you ever been hit with an extension cord, a switch, or the nearest shoe?

3. Have you ever had to pick your own switch off the
Tree and she sent you back because the one you picked was too little?

4. Have you ever been burned on your ear with a straightening comb?

5. Have you ever been hit in the head or knuckles with a comb or hair brush?

6. Have you ever been told to "Shut up or I'll give you something to cry about" while she beats you with a belt pronouncing every Syllable, "Didn't---I---tell- --you---not- --to-do-- -that---no- --more?!"

7. Your ponytails or plaits were so tight, you got those little bumps around your scalp

8. The white people in the school office (principal, secretary, etc) were afraid of her?

9. You were scared to go home when you had a bad report card?

10. Alcohol, peroxide, cocoa butter, and vaseline were the main Items in the bathroom cabinet...and that red hot water bottle hanging behind the bathroom door?

11 You were never "on punishment" - just got whooping right out of the shower (or in the bath tub--that was me).

12. Have you ever been pinched for going to sleep in church?

13. She made you participate in every church activity
(choir, Sunday school, Junior Usher Board, Easter play, Christmas play, etc.)?

14. Has she ever come inside and picked you up from the school dance in hair rollers and her gown or pajamas on under her coat?

15. When you ask her for something, her response was..."You got a job?"

16. Have you ever been beaten for something your brother or sister did just because you were around?

17. She vacuums everyday just so the carpet can have lines in it.

18. Have you ever been told to turn off the TV, get off the phone, or sit down and be quiet when it's storming outside because the Lord was doing His work?

19. Friends, family and friends of the family try to keep you out of trouble because they know your mother and how she is?

20. You were afraid to call the child abuse hotline (because you weren't allowed to use the phone without her permission)?

21. She had to talk to God.. "Lord, please don't let me hurt this Child!!!" before she gives you a whipping.

22. You knew NOT to talk about what went on in your house with anybody (other family members, friends, school authority, etc), because you were told, "What goes on in this house, stays in this house!!!"
23. Have you ever tried to run away from home because your mother was so mean and you got as far as the hallway and she told you to leave the clothes she bought you in her house (that happened to my brother)?
24. Did you sass you rmother in front of other people and she took you in the bathroom, made you take off your clothes and whooped your behind? Then, she tells you next time it would be in front the class.

If you can relate to any of these things, then pass this on to ALL your friends and see if they can relate to "KNOWING THAT THEY

If some this stuff don't make us feel ashamed... well what can I say. Maybe it's time to pay our dues and what we see today is result of above.

If you wanna know the results of beating a kid into submission, I'll tell you in the next posts....

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The results of beating a kid into submission....

Angry kids.

Repressed anger.

Bullies. Angry kids with repressed anger will take their anger out on someone else, usually one that is smaller, weaker, or younger.

Abused kids who fear parent reprisal for being abused and will not tell you.

Kids (usually girls and women) who wind up in abusive relationships and make escuses for it because they think it's normal and it's warranted because they 'got out of place' as a woman, girlfriend, or spouse.

Suicidal thoughts - from kids who have been harrassed and fear telling you because you will make them go right back out there and try to beat the bigger kid's ass.

Promiscuity. Kids (boys and girls) who love and affection from sex because they are not getting it at home. Parents who beat all the time do not show much physical love and affection.

Boys who grow up to be controlling men.

Women who grow up to be doormats.

Boys who grow up to eschew the definition of 'submit' and think it applies only to women.

black on black killings and violence - from kids who don't know how to solve problems but seek to control the situation with violence like ther parents did them.

pregnant teenagers - from kids who sought love and affection from sex since they weren't getting it from home.

Agressive teens - because beating a kid's ass can't last for ever so what will you do when they grow up and possibly get bigger than you?

Lowered grades

Experiement with drugs and alcohol leading to addiction - to cover and erase the issues and problems with being beat.
I think beating kids (yes it's beating, let's be real) is rude and ineffective. When I was a child I resented it, but I knew it was quicker than actually being on punishment and having something taken away from me. I had relatives who were beaten and that type of punishment didn't really do them any good..They grew up promiscuous, lying, untrustworthy thieves... I think some people misinterpret when they see parents talking to their kids about a wrong behavior as that parent being a doormat..No, what that parent really is doing is taking time to help their child learn that there are consequences to bad behavior and that a person always has a choice to choose what is right vs. wrong. Now that I have children, I've been reading, watching Nanny 911 so that I could learn how to be firm and establish boundaries for my children. I am not going to beat or say disrespectful things to my children. Sure, they are going to test my patience, but I have to remember that I'm the adult. Lastly, I HATED the saying "Girls are supposed to be seen and not heard" I HATE IT! I think it helps erodes a girl's self confidence.
Lastly, for those who use the bible as justification for the beatings (Proverbs, 29:15, 23,13, 13:24, etc, etc,) I think the point is to correct the child when the child needs correcting, not beating kids with wet skin or with extension cords, or those horrible switches or throwing random objects. When beatings resort to these tactics, then I think the parent needs a time out! ha!



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