Knowing Your Man Well

Understanding Men: How to Understand Men Better
Written by Stephany Alexander


Over the years, women have had many experiences in trying to understand men. In your quest to understand men, you will discover that they usually have vague ideas on what they really want or need from a woman. They say one thing and seem to do another. They send mixed messages that often leave you feeling confused and bewildered.

Perhaps if women were to start thinking like men, it would make this whole man and woman relationship a whole lot easier. So the next time your man does something that irritates you, try putting yourself in his shoes.


Women have a tendency to lament about problems because they want their problems to be acknowledged, while men complain about problems because they are asking for solutions.


These are just a few concepts from the book ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.’ Obviously there are differences between women and men's viewpoints and how they react under stress.


Rarely do men think about writing us sweet little love letters or cards or sending us flowers. When you get frustrated with your man about his lack of romanticism, remember that men do not always think like this. They may wonder why their sex lives are not so good but most seem to be lacking the romance gene.


The reason for their apparent lack of attention through small gestures is that their idea of "romantic" is different than ours. Share with your guy that you would love to have flowers sent to you at work. Do not sweat it if he does not respond to you immediately. He probably has other things on his mind.

Does men’s lack of romance mean they have less character than women. Absolutely not. However, in an interesting poll of over 500 women conducted by WomanSavers.com, over 40% of women felt that men have much less character and values now than they did five years ago, whereas only 2% believed men’s character had increased.

Does your man seem disinterested when you are trying to talk to him about something vital to you? Do you feel that you two have a problem and you wish to discuss about it? Does your man seem less than excited when you insist you both must talk about the issue right there and then?
Men, more often than not, wish to keep their problems to themselves and think about them for a while. It does not mean your man is incapable of communicating with you, it just means that he would rather process the situation before saying anything.

More often than not, a man will need to come up with something concrete to say or a specific solution to a problem, rather than just discussing several different options with you. Though women think about our problems out loud and wish to discuss or talk about every aspect of an issue, does not mean men have to do the same. When it comes to communicating, give your man some space. When he is ready to talk to you about an issue, permit him to approach you.

Remind yourself that you are two different creatures and when it comes down to it, men and women have a very different style of communication.

Do not be offended when you do not get exactly the response you would expect or desire. Men are not easy to figure out. The next time you are upset with your guy, try to think about it the way he would. Simply to acknowledge that men think in different ways would lift off a heavy burden from your shoulders. The next time he reacts differently to what you would expect, do not sweat the small stuff. It doesn’t mean that he didn’t care. He just thinks differently than the way you do.

How to Understand Men Better [Understanding Men]
From an early age men are taught to be disconnected from their internal feelings. Women are also socialized to expect men to be strong and in control. According to the Australian Institute of Family Studies survey of 650 divorced men and women — Towards Understanding the Reasons for Divorce, — 20 per cent said infidelity was the main cause for their marriage breakdowns but it came third on the list of reasons given for divorce, after communication problems and incompatibility. At the same time, men very rarely find the comfort they are seeking through affairs.

Those who try counseling say that extramarital sex only compounds their feelings of guilt, isolation and despair, which often lead to depression. Those starved of intimacy at home occasionally develop sex addictions, in the same way that bulimics binge harder, with zero relief. The cheater, like the bulimic, is desperately trying to fill an emotional void. Women are fortunate in that they are able to find satisfying emotional connections through networks of friends as well as a deep, physical and emotional intimacy through their children, predominantly newborns and toddlers.

But in our man-as-pillar society, sex is the only way men can achieve emotional closeness. Having more sex can become a desperate search to fill that gap In a fidelity poll of over 770 women conducted by WomanSavers.com, over 60% of women believed that emotional affairs lead to physical affairs. In a similar WomanSaver’s infidelity poll of over 1,000 women, 56% felt that online affairs constituted infidelity.

Therefore, even if a man doesn’t take off his pants, most women seemed to feel that emotional cheating is just as bad as physical cheating.

When someone is unfaithful, in the heat of the moment, that person does not think at all of the consequences or how the partner might feel as a result of their unfaithful actions. It is the commitment and the level of respect for yourself and your partner that determines if there will be less chances of infidelity in a relationship. Through open communication, respect and caring of their partner’s feelings, a man will be able to resist the temptation to flirt with that beautiful girl at work.