How to deal with an absent parent

[EducatedDiva, MPA]

My sons (10 & 3) have different dads. My oldest leaves on Friday for the night to spend time with his dad. My youngest has recently started whining when he leaves: "I wanna go." My oldest son's dad is barely a father to him, so he's far removed from letting the little one tag along from time to time. My question is how do I help him cope with the fact that his dad isn't coming to get him? When he was younger, my parents would get him every other Friday to give me a break, but now, he's the one in need of a break! Then I feel like I'm spoiling him to compensate for him not being able to go anywhere. Suggestions, please!!

[Meeya]

I have dealt with similiar issues in the past, my oldest sons father is in and out of the picture, but yet his mom is around, and she would take my son from time to time, and a few times we did things together so I could include my youngest child as well, I'm also fortunate enough to have male cousins to take my boys when I'm in need of a break, So maybe if you can ask a male relative to spend time with your child, or find something to substitute like a play group or going out with a friend who has a child the same age,like doing things together with your little ones, dont worry about compensating because sometimes we have too, I know have to with my youngest, his father is deceased, so even if I wanted him in the picture, theres no way he could, over time it will pass, at least it did for my sons, it bothers me more that neither one of them have a father in there lifes, they dont even talk about anymore or complain, I guesse it suits them fine to at least have a realitive in their life, they even get a chance to hang out with my sister and her husband. So dont worry it will work itself out.