Are Black Women Teaching Their Daughters to Be Mean?

[KimSyne]

My 4 year old son is attending school for the first time. His school is very diverse and apparently four year olds are very touchy feely little people. They just like to hug. Well, my baby is quite popular with the girls.

We recently went to the Pumpkin Patch and one particular little girl was all over my baby. They were holding hands and hugging. She followed him everywhere he went. On the hay ride there was another little girl that was really upset and very vocal about it. He had not played with her. My son is African American while his chosen playmate of the day was white and the little girl with the attitude was Asian.

Later in the day, I asked my son about the African American girls in his class. I asked him if he played with them. His response has started an ongoing discussion in my family, so I wanted someone else’s opinion. (And I know I will get plenty here!) My smart and intelligent four years old said, “The brown girls are mean. They don’t speak and only want to play with me when I am playing with the other girls.” My husband says that he is right.

What do you think?

[KimSyne]

Dani, what about when it is because of our attitude that they are with the white woman. Is it possible that we as black women are pushing our black men away? Think about it...and tell me what you think?

KimSyne

[Dani]

it has to be genetics or sumthin cuz I swear i'm not racist but if i see a black man with a white woman i'm mad as hell.especially when they are fine. But I dont know why i'm unhappy to see them together.I mean it bothers me. as if sisters aren't good enough for them. I dont see that maybe they can be really digging dat person.

[Bridget]

Yes I beleive that they are and its sad to see. I have always taught my girls and still do and the are 21, 20, and 14 there is only one you. If you dont respect yourself then nobody will people are going to talk about you from sun up to sun down but as the saying goes its not what they call you, its what you answer to that makes a difference

[Verona Wiltse]

Yes Kym, I have a 15 year old grandson, he's very tall and handsome. The school that he attend all his life is predominantly white with mixers of Blacks, Asian, Spanish, arabs etc. I have always noticed that the girls that calls or I see him with are White and Spanish. When I asked him about the Black girls in his school, he said and I quote. "Grandma, they are mad scary". When I asked what do you mean by that. He said they are loud in the hallway and always fighting. I try not to look at them, they may want to fight me. I don't know what's going on. I think, it's the shows they are watching. When they show Black girls on TV, (young people shows) they usually arguing with someone or dancing in risque videos. When he was younger, we would watch Crosby. I would also get him to watch the reruns of the Jefferson and Will Smith Show. So he could see position Black people. When I said to him but Jordan, I am Black and your Mother is Black and you are'nt scrared of us, he would say "I love you grandma, all my friends think you are the coolest grandma they have ever seen. If I could talk to these young girls on TV, I would tell them not to play any roles that depict young Black women in a negative way. I have heard black actresses, on talks, saying the reason we haven't seen them in any movies in while. It's because of the roles they have been asked to play. I look at it this way; because of everything we have been through over the years, whatever I do or where ever I go I represent my people and womanhood in the best possible light. I have a one year old granddaughter, I think we are going to have to rethink how we should raise her. What we should expose her to. Try to give her a good sense of self. Teach her about repect for herself and others and always carry herself well and with pride. I don't know, what do you think?

[Nicholle]

WOW Kym. This is so profound! I hear the same story from my male friends who are in their 30's about women in the club.

If a 4 year old and a 30 year old are having the same experience, something is terribly wrong.

We have got to address this! Black moms! What are you teaching your daughters?